He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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