so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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