have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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