I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
