I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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