I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
pray to the hookup gods
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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