): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
