just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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