I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
