so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
