I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
