idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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