people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
