oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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