Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
