I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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