i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
