Four minutes until I can fart!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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