She's JV to your varsity
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
