you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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