and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
