brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
