Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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