im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
