Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
