Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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