you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
