I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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