i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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