i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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