honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
