Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
