wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
