The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
