so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
