Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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