I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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