sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
