if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
