when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
