you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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