I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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