i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
