i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
