Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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