the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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