Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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