Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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