Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
