Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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