There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
