Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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