i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just invented taco cereal.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize