Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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