If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
