You can't special order awesome
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
