Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
