omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
