And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
