This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
