Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize