Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
