then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
