She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
